To Catch A Spider

There was a black spider on the ceiling of my bedroom. My body stiffened at the sight of it. My house is largely free of insects. But spiders do make their way in every now and then although it's probably more accurate to say that I see one now and then. For all I know there may be an entire colony of spiders in the house. Occasionally a garden lizard drops in (only because somebody leaves a door open). It is bit of a trick to coax the lizard to leave especially if it senses danger. I have had to chase one around the living room keeping it from hiding under furniture before finally leading it out through the front door. On one occasion, I found a lizard wiggling inside my shoe as I put it on causing me to jump a foot or two. But generally, the insects stay outside leaving you in peace.

Years ago, on one of my visits to my village, I saw someone using a mosquito net in summer when mosquitoes were not an issue. It seemed to me that the net would impede air flow and cause it to be stuffy inside. I asked him why he was using one. He told me that the net would catch any insects or possibly even a scorpion that might fall from the ceiling. Thanks to this information, I spent the rest of my stay worrying about scorpions falling from the ceiling. I guess that fear has stayed with me all this time.

And now here I was facing the actual possibility of an insect descending upon me while I slept. The spider seemed to have wandered to the centre of the ceiling. There was no sign of a web around. Still scoping out my bedroom for the best spot to spin one, I thought. It seemed transfixed, not moving around much. A few tentative scurries in different directions but with no discernible target. What was it doing there? Did it get lost in what must be an ocean of whiteness to its eyes? How does a spider relate to this environment?

Life as an insect must involve a great deal of uncertainty. At any moment it may be swallowed up by a lizard or a frog. Or someone may step on it although not while it is holding on to the ceiling. Perhaps this spider had figured this out and was resting there. But somehow I doubt that spiders and other insects live in constant fear. Contrariwise (I have always wanted to use that word) I was the one afflicted with fear upon seeing the spider.

I could ponder the situation endlessly but the the thought uppermost in my mind was how to get rid of the spider. Of course this was not the first time I had encountered a spider in my house. And over the years, I have evolved an effective method to get the spider out of the house when I find one. You are perhaps wondering why I do not kill it. Ten years ago, I would have gotten the vacuum cleaner with its crevice cleaning attachment and sucked it out. But I have to come look upon that as needlessly cruel. I do not like to kill the spider (or any insect as long as it is not a cockroach!) just for the crime of its having wandered into my house uninvited. Instead I catch the spider, take it outside and let it go.

Operation Spider in my house involves some equipment - a broom, a plastic cup of suitable size and a card about 7 inches by 5. The junk mail I get usually provides a good supply of suitable cards while I have found that the cover that used to come with a stack of CD-ROMs makes the best cup. All that is left then is to get the spider into the cup, cover it with the card, and take it outside. Since the spider is usually not sitting on the floor waiting for you, a certain dexterity with the broom is required to finesse it into the cup. Some early attempts at this have left a few scars on the walls.

It is tricky to get the spider even for an experienced spider catcher when it is on the ceiling. This one was also perched at the highest part of the vaulted ceiling making it difficult to reach. After a couple of practice swings, I managed to sweep it off and my wife was ready to cover it quickly with the cup (oh yeah, did I mention that it is often a two-person job?) when it fell on the floor. I slid the card between the cup and the floor with consummate ease and I was done. I then took it out to the yard and shook the cup to let the spider go.

I wondered what the spider thought of the situation. From crawling around the brightly lit ceiling in a warm room with nary a care to being trapped in a plastic cup to being thrown into the darkness - all within a couple of minutes, would be seriously disorienting. But it showed no visible sign of it as it sped away into the bushes. For my part, I felt relieved and went to bed a little pleased with how smoothly the whole thing had gone.