First a little story. One that is familiar to most of you.
There is an episode in the Bhaagavatam where Krishna plays a trick on Yashoda. To keep Krishna from mischief, Yashoda decided to tie Him to a large mortar. But the rope she fetched was just a little short. She tried different ropes but they always came up just slightly short. She joined two ropes together but no, they still came up short. It seemed that Krishna's midriff could not be encircled no matter what the length of the rope was. Krishna's rope trick had her totally enthralled. Finally, Krishna decided to put her out of misery and let Himself be tied up.
Why did I bring up this story? I think Krishna left a little of His mischief to remain in the world in the form of ready made clothes to have some fun at our expense.
Throw your mind back to the time when you had your clothes made to measure though some of you may be too young to throw back far enough (I like to assume that not all my readers are old like me). Back then, you did not have to fit into one of the fixed sizes - small, medium, large, etc. Or wonder whether you should get a 15 or 151/2. You just purchased the cloth and went to the tailor. The tailor would wave a tape measure around your body and shout out incomprehensible numbers to his assistant who would take them down in a notebook. The clothes would then be made to measure. You even had a fitting session to have final adjustments made to the trousers when they were still kind of semi-finished with white marks all over.
Bespoke clothes cost a great deal now and few can afford them. Most of us are resigned to finding ready made clothes in the size that comes closest to our body measurements. For example, you have a 33 waist but the pant sizes available are either 32 or 34 (seriously the manufactures seem to have a sworn dislike for odd sizes). The sleeve length is 32/33 which means it will fit neither 32 nor 33. You feel like Goldilocks except there is no 'just right' in your case. You may be thinking that one could either gain half inch or lose half inch for the perfect fit. If only you can control your body that well! To make things worse, the pants come in sets of lengths that seem to be dependent on the waist size. For example, let us say that you need 33 waist with 29 length. You will find 32x30 or 34x29.
At least the sizes for men's clothes indicate what the actual measurements are. Not so women's. The numbers used for them seem to make no sense. They are like shoe sizes which by the way are totally incomprehensible. You just have to try the shoes to make sure they fit. Of course, the two feet are not identical in size in general the result being one shoe is tight or loose while the other fits.
It seems to me that Heisenberg's Uncertainly Principle applies to the world of ready made clothing too. For those unfamiliar with Heisenberg, he stated that it is impossible to know both the exact position and the exact speed of a particle at the same instant of time. If you are able to fix the position, the speed will be inaccurate and vice versa. I am simplifying but you get the drift. In a like manner, either the waist will fit or the length will but not both. If the shirt fits well around the chest then the shoulders are probably tight or the sleeve is too long.
'So what?', you might be saying. If your waist size falls between two available sizes, all you need to do is buy the larger size and get a belt. Ah, but this is where it gets trickier. You find that the belt too needs a hole between one that is too loose and one that is too tight. It's no use. We are destined to be a misfit one way or another. I guess we just have to suck it up literally and figuratively. The whole thing leaves me wishing sometimes that we just wore the traditional dhoties which of course come in just one size and do fit most if not all.
By the way, do you ever wonder where they get the models for advertising? The clothes seem to fit the models perfectly although that could be a result of air brushing or some other technique. My experience tells me that such human beings do not exist.
It is true that clothing manufacturers have come a long way. We now have different classes altogether of sizes like regular, fitted, slim, relaxed (for those of large proportions), and big and tall (note that these go together), and so on (what exactly is 'fitted' anyway?). Within one of these, you hope to find that magical size that is just right for you. But Krishna's Law will probably ensure that you fall in between slim and relaxed or you are lean and tall (small and tall sounds a bit of an anomaly, doesn't it?) so that slim pants are not long enough and the tall variety is too loose.
So what are we to do? If the clothes do not fit you, then you should somehow fit into them. In any case, fitting in is one of the things that we are constantly doing in life. From elementary school through college, you are being pressured to conform. And the pressure continues throughout life. The funny thing is, at the same time, you also need to stand out or risk being ignored. It is up to you to find the right balance between the two. The ready made clothes conundrum seems to be a perfect metaphor for life itself. You knew that Krishna's pranks always had a teaching in them, didn't you?
There is an episode in the Bhaagavatam where Krishna plays a trick on Yashoda. To keep Krishna from mischief, Yashoda decided to tie Him to a large mortar. But the rope she fetched was just a little short. She tried different ropes but they always came up just slightly short. She joined two ropes together but no, they still came up short. It seemed that Krishna's midriff could not be encircled no matter what the length of the rope was. Krishna's rope trick had her totally enthralled. Finally, Krishna decided to put her out of misery and let Himself be tied up.
Why did I bring up this story? I think Krishna left a little of His mischief to remain in the world in the form of ready made clothes to have some fun at our expense.
Throw your mind back to the time when you had your clothes made to measure though some of you may be too young to throw back far enough (I like to assume that not all my readers are old like me). Back then, you did not have to fit into one of the fixed sizes - small, medium, large, etc. Or wonder whether you should get a 15 or 151/2. You just purchased the cloth and went to the tailor. The tailor would wave a tape measure around your body and shout out incomprehensible numbers to his assistant who would take them down in a notebook. The clothes would then be made to measure. You even had a fitting session to have final adjustments made to the trousers when they were still kind of semi-finished with white marks all over.
Bespoke clothes cost a great deal now and few can afford them. Most of us are resigned to finding ready made clothes in the size that comes closest to our body measurements. For example, you have a 33 waist but the pant sizes available are either 32 or 34 (seriously the manufactures seem to have a sworn dislike for odd sizes). The sleeve length is 32/33 which means it will fit neither 32 nor 33. You feel like Goldilocks except there is no 'just right' in your case. You may be thinking that one could either gain half inch or lose half inch for the perfect fit. If only you can control your body that well! To make things worse, the pants come in sets of lengths that seem to be dependent on the waist size. For example, let us say that you need 33 waist with 29 length. You will find 32x30 or 34x29.
At least the sizes for men's clothes indicate what the actual measurements are. Not so women's. The numbers used for them seem to make no sense. They are like shoe sizes which by the way are totally incomprehensible. You just have to try the shoes to make sure they fit. Of course, the two feet are not identical in size in general the result being one shoe is tight or loose while the other fits.
It seems to me that Heisenberg's Uncertainly Principle applies to the world of ready made clothing too. For those unfamiliar with Heisenberg, he stated that it is impossible to know both the exact position and the exact speed of a particle at the same instant of time. If you are able to fix the position, the speed will be inaccurate and vice versa. I am simplifying but you get the drift. In a like manner, either the waist will fit or the length will but not both. If the shirt fits well around the chest then the shoulders are probably tight or the sleeve is too long.
'So what?', you might be saying. If your waist size falls between two available sizes, all you need to do is buy the larger size and get a belt. Ah, but this is where it gets trickier. You find that the belt too needs a hole between one that is too loose and one that is too tight. It's no use. We are destined to be a misfit one way or another. I guess we just have to suck it up literally and figuratively. The whole thing leaves me wishing sometimes that we just wore the traditional dhoties which of course come in just one size and do fit most if not all.
By the way, do you ever wonder where they get the models for advertising? The clothes seem to fit the models perfectly although that could be a result of air brushing or some other technique. My experience tells me that such human beings do not exist.
It is true that clothing manufacturers have come a long way. We now have different classes altogether of sizes like regular, fitted, slim, relaxed (for those of large proportions), and big and tall (note that these go together), and so on (what exactly is 'fitted' anyway?). Within one of these, you hope to find that magical size that is just right for you. But Krishna's Law will probably ensure that you fall in between slim and relaxed or you are lean and tall (small and tall sounds a bit of an anomaly, doesn't it?) so that slim pants are not long enough and the tall variety is too loose.
So what are we to do? If the clothes do not fit you, then you should somehow fit into them. In any case, fitting in is one of the things that we are constantly doing in life. From elementary school through college, you are being pressured to conform. And the pressure continues throughout life. The funny thing is, at the same time, you also need to stand out or risk being ignored. It is up to you to find the right balance between the two. The ready made clothes conundrum seems to be a perfect metaphor for life itself. You knew that Krishna's pranks always had a teaching in them, didn't you?
11 comments:
Hilarious writing as usual. A collection of these writings would make a nice time capsule - like perhaps malgudi days takes one back.
But the thrust of the writing is on point. Doing what you like is the ideal to be pursued, but liking what you do will likely get you there one day.
Quite a good read.Krishna , art of fitting into real life nice analogy. Visit to the tailor took me down the memory lane.Good wishes.
A good read .. shoes are even more complex with US/EU and Asian sizes!
Interesting article, Neelu.
Well written as usual about one of our present day experiences!
Very humorously written!
Good article. But there is a very good solution: you have to cut the leg for the shoe. That is it.
Excellent article! Truly, not all are cut out to fit in !!
Very funny, but what would Krishna do?
Well...I am big and tall and such options are a rarity in India. And that means most of the common brands are automatically ruled out. There are a few others where I have the same classic problem of either too tight or too loose.
I go to Raymond's these days. I choose the cloth and get it stitched by the in-house tailor at the retail outlet. I have identified one guy who is particularly good at Jayanagar :)
And yes - getting them stitched is still affordable in India :)
Neelakantan, very well written- as always.
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