Rummaging Through A Drawer

The printer had run out of ink. Actually it had enough black ink to print my document but it would not because it had run out of magenta ink. It has been a mystery to me why the color inks keep running out even though the bulk of the printing I do is just black and white. With some irritation at this thought, I started looking in the drawer for spare cartridges.

Have ever you searched for something in your cupboard and found all sorts of long lost or forgotten things except what you were looking for? Well, this drawer turned out to be a veritable museum. As I rummaged through the contents of the drawer, I felt like an archaeologist. A deep drawer hides more than it shows. History started to unfold before my eyes. 

After I pulled out the unused network and printer cables that had been just shoved into the drawer and had become annoyingly tangled, I got to the interesting things - an electronic rolodex that had not even been opened, a warranty card for a keyboard from Compusa, a user manual for an electronic organizer I never knew I had bought and which was not among those present, and several boxes of mini-disks with each disk capable of storing all of 1.44 MB of data but no longer capable of being read by my PC. Old receipts, and other odd documents like bank statements (the bank has changed name a few times since then having been sold to or swallowed by bigger banks) popped up. There was a receipt for old clothes and other items donated to Salvation Army with just the date '9/10' and a signature. I wondered which year that was for.

There were farewell cards from previous jobs. I could barely make out the signatures now and could not tell the names for some. Some I simply did not recall even though the names were clearly written. But it was good to read the appreciative messages and recall the details of the projects. 

The drawer continued to give out its bounty. A stack of old credit cards and store cards (many of the stores have now gone out of business) was neatly bundled by a rubber band. Next was a bag with chess pieces but I have no idea where the board went. Ditto for the scrabble tiles (why did I save just a handful of these?). Old reading glasses, regular pencils, mechanical pencils, pens that will not write any longer, erasers, etc. kept emerging. There was a stack of photographic paper which I think came with a printer I bought ages ago. A small appointments book for the year 2001 and a few maps had settled at the bottom. 

The final two things to be found in the drawer are a complete mystery to me - 'Sliding window roller no. G-3038' still in its package and a small device enclosed in a translucent green sleeve. I did not recall buying the former and it was probably there when I bought the house (the drawer is part of a built-in desk). The latter was totally intriguing and a little scary. It has the name of a company (I am not saying which!) on the outside with a web address under that. The actual device has a display window with two buttons ('MODE' and 'SET) beneath. What could this be? Should I put in the battery and see what it is? But I am afraid it may start something or transmit a signal to someone. I smell the beginning of a science fiction story here. And I did find a printer cartridge too but alas, it was not the right colour. I wonder if I can just use it in place of the magenta anyway.

As I contemplated the motley collection of objects, I was struck by something. I have been pushing  odds and ends into such drawers for years with the idea that you never know when they might be needed or may be without any idea. I think this process is not different from the way things are stored in my memory. 

The drawers of memory banks are vast and bottomless. There must be plenty of things taking up space there and cluttering my mind - all sorts of trivia, some useful perhaps but never recallable when needed, feelings of all kind which exist mostly as vague impressions but some still capable of stirring me if remembered, and so on. A good deal of these were not saved consciously I am sure. And they can surface again under appropriate conditions. Who knows what memories may be triggered by a dive into a cupboard or a drawer?

I wish I could rummage through the drawers of my mind like the ones in my desk. It will probably be a good thing to clean them up now and then. I am excited and apprehensive about what I will find there. Dare I stir them? Some things are locked away perhaps because they are unpleasant and better left alone. The mind is known to do that to keep us sane I am told. 

Take this past year. I am sure many of us would like to send 2020 to a deep and dark corner of our memories. About this time in 2019, we were looking forward to a great year. If only we had had 20/20 vision into the future! Who would have guessed that walking into a bank with face masks would become a normal thing in 2020? Things that we take for granted have to be carefully planned or even avoided now. Working in a normal office setting seems like a remote possibility for the time being. It has also been a difficult time for all and many have lost loved ones. Just the other day a classmate and dear friend of mine succumbed to Covid-19. 

Years hence, when some future drawer cleaning brings 2020 back, it is not going to be recalled with nostalgia but with dread and pain. But with the vaccines for Covid arriving, it is safe to say that we will say goodbye to 2020 with a certain relief and with reason to hope for good tidings in the coming year. And on that optimistic note, let me end this post.

Here's wishing you all pleasant memories and uncluttered drawers! Happy New Year!