Sunday, December 3, 2017

A Nice Ring

Remember when all phones had the same ringtone? In fact, no one used the term ringtone then. All phones were black and looked about the same. The first time I looked at a phone up close was in my grandfather's house a long time ago. I was about three then I think. The rotating dial with the characteristic sound it made when numbers were dialed was fascinating. By the way, if you thought I was talking cell phones, I would say that you are either too young to have known the rotary phones or old enough to have forgotten them.

When I was a little older, we got a phone of our own, courtesy of my father's employer. This phone did not have a dialing mechanism at all but when you picked up the handset off the cradle, you got the operator at the exchange who asked, 'Number please?'. We were living in a small town which was serviced by a manual exchange. You had to be connected at the switchboard to the number you wished to call. I wonder now if the operator had the ability to listen in on the calls. 

Getting a phone in India was such big deal for the longest time. So much so, having one in your house sometimes turned out to be a nuisance as neighbours made use of it to make and receive calls. But this also provided an opportunity for some. They would allow neighbours to make calls but place a box for contributions discretely (!) next to the phone. Local shops with phone connections allowed nearby residents to use their number to receive calls. You would call the shop and ask to be connected to Mr. So and so in A-3. They would charge the recipient of course but the service included sending the boy to fetch the customer when a call came through. When I first came to the US, it was quite a dramatic change from all this. Here I could just walk into an telephone shop and walk out with an instrument of my choice. The service would be turned on in a day or less. A revolutionary concept to me then. 


Phone service in India has come a long way now but it was a slow journey for the most part. 
I remember having to book long distance calls and wait as there was no direct dialing. In an emergency, you placed what was referred to as a lightning call (meaning the charges would accumulate at lightning speed!). When the call came through, you had to be quick to get your message across before the operator interrupted the call to announce 'Threeee... minutes'. Since you paid for a minimum of three minutes, you did not want to be too quick either. Obviously, trunk calls were only used to communicate really urgent news. Usually this meant bad news making people apprehensive when they received such a call. But nowadays one can call internationally and chat for hours for pennies. And feel not a tinge of nervousness when someone calls from abroad. 

Direct calling to India from the US was not available for many years and one had to go through the operator paying exorbitant charges. When it did become available, it was still quite difficult to get through. You often got a message that said, 'Due to heavy congestion in the country you are calling, your call did not complete'. It was bad enough not being able to get through but the bad grammar on top of that was like rubbing salt on the wound. 'Complete' is a transitive verb for God's sake. It reminded me of other statements like, 'The product will begin shipping Thursday'. Shipping what? But I digress.
 
The instruments themselves have evolved from the simple black phone into all sorts of shapes, from desk phones to wall models, and culminated in the cordless phones with features like speed dialing and digital answering machine. By far the feature that was most heavily used by expatriate Indians, I am sure was the last number redial. It allowed you to keep retrying your call rapidly (and cut off the annoying message short too) until you got through. This feature was also highly touted by Hyacinth in the series Keeping Up Appearances ('I must answer my white, slimline telephone with last number redial, it's bound to be someone important').


Cell phones have pushed the so called land lines to the background and many people have even dispensed with them altogether now. If you still have one, you receive so many telemarketing calls that it is seriously annoying. Things have changed in other ways too.You might recall dramatic movie scenes where the bad guy disconnects the call by pressing the button on the cradle just as the damsel in distress is about to be complete it. Can you imagine that with a cell phone? And gone are scenes where people received calls at restaurants with the waiter bringing a phone to the table and plugging it into a nearby socket. 

I think the advent of personal cell phones has also changed family dynamics considerably. Before them, everyone relied on the one line in the house. There was contention to use it, and angry outbursts ensued when someone hogged the line for long periods. Parents knew 
whom the children were talking to and sort of knew what was going on with them. There was less privacy and perhaps fewer secrets. When calls came for someone who was out, messages had to be taken. A little note pad and a pen were kept by the phone for this purpose. Family friends got an opportunity to chat up the children when they answered.  

With everyone having their personal phone I wonder if we have lost something. The family phone created an invisible bond that is now gone. The family phone - it has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Room Away From Home

One of the downsides of travelling is that you have to sleep on strange beds in hotels and motels. The excitement of visiting new places is necessarily tempered by the loss of the familiar comfort of one's own bed. Now there are those who regularly commute on a weekly basis being consultants (have brief case, will travel) and such. I suppose they can get used to a different room every week. My job requires no travel and so the only times I am confronted with this problem is when traveling for pleasure.

I must confess that even at home I am a fidgety sleeper. But hotel rooms and beds present peculiar problems that I am sure you all have encountered. The pictures of the room do look inviting and comfortable. The colours are calming and the decor in general unobtrusive and muted though I have seen exceptions to this. The hotel management seems committed to ensure an uneventful and comfortable sojourn. So at least are the expectations.

When you check in to the room, you feel the sense of peace. But things seem to change when you turn in for the night. That inviting tucked in sheet turns out to be a trap. You have to insert yourself between the bed and the bed sheet like a cork in a bottle. It would be a perfect fit if you convert your body into a flat cutout cartoon-style. The impossibly tight space makes you feel like you have been placed under restraints. There may also be a sense of apprehension - what if the fire alarm goes off and you have to get out in a hurry?

You can always loosen the sheet before getting in (after you are in you are completely helpless) but it is quite a job to pull the sheet completely out from under the mattress. I am sure people have thrown their backs out trying to do that. I really like the sheet to turn with my body when I turn in the bed and so have to have the sheet completely loose from the mattress. If you have seen the Seinfeld episode where George gets mad about this, you will agree that this is but a reasonable requirement.

If you do manage to get the sheet pulled out to your comfort, it is not all snores after that. The room turns pitch dark when you switch off the bedside light but a minute or two later as your eyes adjust to the darkness, you see that the curtains have these inevitable gaps either in the centre or at the sides that let in disconcerting streaks of light from outside that just fall on your face. You can try to adjust them all you want but you will fail. Some hotels place the the air-conditioning unit just below the curtain covering the window which results in the curtain being blown away from the window and creating a dancing display of light. Good for disco perhaps but certainly not for sleeping.

The bed itself is of unpredictable quality but it is the pillows that I find most troubling. Either they provide no support or they are so firm you feel like your head is on another floor altogether. I don't know who thinks it is a good idea to fill pillows with feathers but some hotels provide such pillows. As far as I know, birds do not sleep on feathers. The wonderfully fluffed up pillow sinks like an anchor the moment you rest your head on it. Good luck trying to reshape it after that.

The light from the leaky curtains may be enough to irritate you but it is certainly not enough to illuminate anything else. If you get up at night, you will need to turn on the bedside lamp which is as powerful as a search light. Now I know some people find it hard to get back to sleep (no points for guessing who) after being in the beam of a flood light in the middle of their sleep. But if you do not turn on the light, you will likely trip over your own shoes or bump into the furniture in the unfamiliar room.

If all this makes you get up somewhat tired and dreary-eyed, a shower is the perfect cure for that. The hotel shower is in my opinion the best feature of the room and will definitely make you feel refreshed. The building code regarding low flow shower heads (at least in CA) does not apparently apply to hotels. The shower is unusually powerful and you may find some of your hair being separated from your scalp but it is worth the risk. Best of all you don't have to worry about your water bill although the hotel bill may clean out your wallet.

Monday, June 26, 2017

Keeping Score

I was watching a soccer game on TV the other day and was finding the commentary somewhat dull. It felt as though the pace of the commentary did not match that of the game. Then I switched to a Spanish language channel and things changed immediately. Though I could not follow the language, it seemed more in tune with the game than English. The commentators seemed to talk as if they were on radio, and not television. Just then, one of the teams scored a goal and the announcer exploded into the the customary 'Go.............al' with the 'oooo' going on for a whole minute. Such enthusiasm is infectious and I found myself getting caught up in the excitement.

This got me thinking about the the time when radio was the source of sports news and live coverage. Some sports are well-suited for the radio as the pace of play allows the commentators to give a very good, detailed account of the proceedings. Others are either too slow or too fast paced. Golf for example allows enough time for the commentators to tell you the life story of the players between shots. The crowds are docile and clap dutifully at the appropriate times. Altogether too dull, if you ask me.

Cricket lends itself to radio commentary particularly well in my opinion, though nowadays it is all about the television. Remember the time you had to follow cricket matches through radio commentary? The sight of people with a small transistor radio glued to their ears was all too common before the advent of televised games. If the game was played overseas, the short wave radio enabled us to tune in to stations in Australia, England and West Indies to follow test matches played there. There were excellent commentators who brought the game to you in detail - ball by ball. Within India, it was All India Radio - AIR. Elsewhere, it would be ABC or BBC. Best of all, there were no commercials interrupting the game. Even during drink breaks.

Listening to someone describing the action creates some suspense and builds tension and anticipation. Consider this. The batsman hits a skier and a fielder is running to catch the ball. I recall one commentator going, 'Will he take it? Will he take it? Noooo..., he drops it'. Or this. 'No Australian fielder within speaking distance of another' when the West Indian batsmen were destroying the Aussie attack in a World Cup final. You do not get this when watching the game on TV. You can say that the commentary forces you to see the world (or just the sports field in this case) through someone else's eyes. I suppose we can all do with some of that.

When AIR decided to introduce Hindi commentary for cricket matches, I was concerned as I did not know the language. But as more than 90% of the description was in English, there was little difficulty in following - 'mid-off ki tarah push', 'sundar cover drive', and other things. Every field position  - slip, gully, cover, mid-on and so on, every stroke - off-drive, sweep, square cut, etc., was the same - they just used the English terms. There was no attempt to translate these, thank god. However, there was one crucial problem. I could not follow the score very well. I could make out the number of wickets, but the runs turned out to be tricky. I struggled to figure out the numbers especially past the forties. Mercifully, the commentary would change to English after a few minutes.

Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against any language. For example, I used to like listening to radio coverage of hockey games in Hindi. Hockey being fast paced, kept the commentators on their toes. They tried hard to keep up and the commentary sometimes turned into a rapid chanting of the players' names - 'Virinder, Balwinder', etc. - as they passed the ball back and forth and advanced down the field. The English language could not match that just as it could not stand up against Spanish in soccer.

It is not that the English commentary was always great. The commentators on AIR varied a great deal in ability and had their own quirks. There was this time when one of them was providing a recap of the day's play till that point for the benefit of listeners overseas who would have just started receiving the direct relay. He opened with, 'Today is sankaranthi' and went on with what seemed like a prepared monologue. The misty morning, the cloudless sky that followed and of course the various happenings on the field too were covered. In the ten minutes that this took, there were a couple of big roars from the crowd but he ignored them and continued with the speech. At the end of it he informed us that two more wickets had fallen in the time he was giving the summary. So now he had to launch into another recap and almost missed the loss of the next wicket.

India's fascinating diversity provided us with endless opportunities to entertain ourselves by trying to come up with commentaries in Tamil, Telugu and so on. We used to wonder if the regional powers would actually try that. However, TV coverage started around this time and the language barrier was finally lifted. Nowadays the coverage is state of the art with multiple cameras and mikes everywhere. If only the commercials were kept in check and the commentators spoke less, things would be great.

The first commentator in history was probably Sanjaya in the epic Mahabharata where he described the happenings on the battlefield to the blind king Dhritarashtra. He (I mean Sanjaya of course and not the king) was blessed with divine vision to not only see things as they unfolded while sitting in the palace but also look into the fighters' minds and know their thoughts and feelings. Today's commentators sit in boxes and follow the game from a vantage position. Strangely, divine powers or not, they too purport to know what the players on the field are thinking if you believe what they say!

Finally, a word on the word 'commentator'. I am intrigued by this word. How did this come about? From comment, we have commenter. To comment is not the same as providing a commentary, so from the latter should we get commentarian? But we got commentator instead. That's English for you but I am not about to commentate on that.
.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Life by Numbers

Numbers make things appear predictable and stable. Saying 'He is six feet tall' is more definitive than saying 'He is tall'. We like things to be measurable and finite. Go to any bookstore and look at the self-help section. You will see all sorts of topics reduced to a finite number of things - Seven Habits, Five Ways, Ten Values, etc., etc. It is comforting to find that things can be specified in this manner. They look manageable. 'Five Easy Fixes' is more attractive than 'One Hundred Ways' to do something.

We are so addicted to numbers that we have started to apply them even when dealing with intangible things. The nurse asks a patient to describe the intensity of his pain on a scale of 1 to 10. How does he do that? I have no clue but this is a standard question used by medical professionals now. I suppose if the pain is unbearable, the patient will say 10 and get medication. If on the other hand, he says 4, he may merely receive some words of comfort. The point is tolerance to pain varies widely from one individual to another. What is level 10 anyway? Do I even want to know? Instead of asking the patient, maybe the nurse can be trained to gauge the pain level by poking the part in question. If the patient merely winces it is level 3, if he swears loudly then it is 7, and so on. If he faints, then it is surely level 10.

It is now fairly common to employ a scale of 1 to 5 or 1 to 10 to measure almost anything. The problem is there is no reference point to know what this actually means. I am sure you have been to restaurants that want us to specify the level of spiciness in their dishes using this scale. Without a common basis, level 5 in one eatery may merely be 3 in another. One diner may find that level 10 hardly tickles his taste buds while another may feel like he is on fire with a mere 3. So the scientific sounding measure turns out to be pretty useless in this case.

Numbers can be used to lull us into a false sense of confidence. Advertisers know this well. An ad claims that four out of five people preferred product A over B in a blind study. But we don't know the actual sample size. What we may not know is that they actually surveyed 50 people and dropped many data points and used only 20 so that they could 'truthfully' claim four out of five chose A. The 30 people excluded may have chosen B! On the other hand, if they only surveyed five then it is a very small sample size and the result is suspect. As they say in many ads, your results may vary. So numerical data can be stated to appear more respectable than they are. Here's another example. If a job applicant says he was among the top ten in his class, it merely means that he was actually the tenth. If he was any higher, he would have been more specific. In any case, without knowing the class size, we cannot be sure if this is good or not.

Don't get me wrong. Of course, numbers are important. The human body needs many parameters to fall within narrow ranges. Small variations in certain hormone levels, for example, can wreak havoc on one's health. We are very much like Goldilocks in this sense. But extreme dependence on numbers is a little unsettling to me. My entire health is being reduced to a set of numbers and decisions are made on the basis of where they fall on a chart. Are my numbers within the range or outside? That is certainly useful to know. But now complicated formulae are used to arrive at a number and they in turn decide whether I should be put on a drug regimen or not. 'Your risk of a cardiac event in the next ten years is x %. So you should start taking this tablet (usually for the rest of your life)' - I am not sure I want to go that far. I wonder if doctors are being relieved of their responsibility with this reliance on digital diagnosis.

To be fair, one must also consider the plight of doctors. Research studies come out with various confusing guidelines now and then. The drug companies keep pushing medicines through intense advertisements that urge you to 'ask your doctor about' their new wonder drug. The internet is full of all sorts of articles that purport to give medical information. Second opinion these days most likely comes from Dr. Google. In fact, Google can help you obtain third, fourth or as many opinions as you want. I am sure many patients are bringing the wisdom gained online to the consulting rooms. I wonder how the poor doctor deals with them.

If you find comfort in the numbers, you may be disturbed by research that's constantly contradicting previous findings. Or moves the goal posts by changing the numbers. For example, saturated fats are supposed to be bad. Or are they? Lower cholesterol levels mean better heart health. Or do they? Statins work by lowering cholesterol. Or maybe their benefit comes from something else. Of course almost every study also says that we should not change what we are doing on the basis of the study. All a lay person can do is reach a state of learned ignorance after reading about different studies and their conclusions. This actually makes the case for asking your doctor who is best equipped to deal with the deluge of information.

I think it is fitting that I end with some statistics of my own. This piece is among my top 50 posts and as of the time of publishing, one hundred percent of the people who read it, have liked it. Now, if you would like to rate this post, may I suggest you use a scale of 5 to 5?

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Cyber-Saws (Old Sayings Refreshed)


Shopper's Dilemma
To click or not to click, that is the question.

Online Existentialist
I tweet, therefore, I am.

Cyber Testament
Man does not live by email alone. Frequently there must be chat.

Law of Karma
As you click, so shall you surf.

Optimist's Creed
Where there is a click, there is a page.

The Reluctant Surfer
You can take a mouse to the icon, but you cannot make it click.

Slow and Steady (Does Not Always Win)
The fingers are strong, but bandwidth is weak.

Contentment
My inbox runneth over.

Law of Generosity
It is far better to give than to receive (spam).

Spammer's Creed
One man's mail is another's spam.

Less Is More
Brevity is the soul of (t)wit(tter).

Celebrities Beware
Think before you tweet .

Law of Equal Opportunity
Into each mailbox some spam must fall.

Trojan Horse
The click that launched a thousand pages (and brought the PC down) 

The Smartphone Lament
The world is at my finger tips but it's all touch and go.




Sunday, January 8, 2017

'Appy New Year

It is just over a year and half since I got rid of my old flip phone and acquired a smartphone. I think I have mentioned before that I am a laggard when it comes to gadgets. I held on to my little basic cell phone for many years and it was a curiosity for many colleagues at work. When I made the switch, or should say leap, it was a bit of news around the office. One person remarked that I had finally crossed over.

A curious fact about smartphones caught my eye recently. I found out that Nikola Tesla had proposed the idea of a smartphone (though he did not use the term) in an interview as far back as 1926 - he said, "we shall see and hear one another as perfectly as though we were face to face, despite intervening distances of thousands of miles; and the instruments through which we shall be able to do his will be amazingly simple compared with our present telephone.  A man will be able to carry one in his vest pocket." (there is much more in that interview on the phone and many other topics). In passing, let us note that it is not 'smart phone' but 'smartphone'. Does this imply something? I leave that for you to ponder.

Over the course of owning this phone, I have come to appreciate a few very useful things. Yes, these are all pretty obvious and are hardly new. Finding my way around new places for instance, is now quite simple. I can get to my email anywhere. There is also the app that tells me how many steps I walk and how many flights of stairs I climb. The camera on the phone is pretty good and ready to click at a moment's notice (I am just waiting to record the next viral video sensation). I can do my banking on the phone. So far so good.

I can play music on it but the sound quality over the earphones is still sub par. I can watch TV shows but I am not crazy about the miniature screen. And holding the phone in your hand to watch a show is pretty tiring. Stiff hands and neck are guaranteed. Ditto for playing games. To be fair, I never was fond of video games anyway. But a lot of people are fond of games and some even addicted to them be it 'angry birds' or 'fruit ninja'. And if you want to be rid of the addiction, there is bound to be an app to cure that too!

I seem to have quickly reached a point where I am not sure what else I can do with the phone. This is no doubt due in part to my own lack of embracing new trends. The picture of people constantly bent over their phones with the thumb scrolling the screen resembling someone rolling the beads in a rosary is after all quite common. While not exactly aspiring to join them, I am looking at expanding the use of my smartphone.

I don't even know where to begin when it comes to apps. I know there are tens of thousands of apps available for free or a small fee but do I need them? Many of the apps seem just a novelty and do not provide any real benefit. Take the many apps that have sprung up to let you track everything you do to keep fit. I don't know how they actually help you to exercise though. But if you do exercise, then you can record details of calories, distance, and so on. I was curious to see an app which measured your pulse rate. I took a look at the free version of the app which asked me to place my finger on the camera lens - probably not a good idea to smear the lens though. But the free version was not really free. There were ads and tons of them. They kind of made it almost impossible to use the app. Worse the annoyance actually caused my heart rate to go up. Anyway, with a stop watch which is already included in the phone, one can easily measure one's pulse so I really did not see the need for the app and I quickly deleted it.

I have tried a few other things. The other day I decided to take notes in a meeting on the phone. Surprisingly, this turned out to be very productive. The phone provides prompts and auto-completes which make for less key strokes and faster typing while occasionally providing a chuckle with some unintended corrections. And yes, you could quietly text, check the news and such if the meeting gets to be tiresome.

Determined to make better use of the phone, I wanted to go farther than these simple apps. With the new year, I resolved to learn a language using an app. Learning a language is one of the things recommended to keep the grey cells from decaying. With advancing years, I can certainly use all the help I can get. Besides, living in California, I think a little Spanish will be quite handy. So here I am, all set to go and hoping that this does not go the way of usual new year resolutions.

¡Feliz año nuevo!

'appy New Year!